How King Arthur Should Have Ended
by QuirkySmile
Summary: What happen's when a teenage girl enters Rome with the intention of saving Tristan's life, and has an ADD moment to save Lancelot as well?


**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor did I have ANY part in making the film _King Arthur. _If I did, as you will find out, it would of had a COMPLETELY different ending. But, I'm just saying.**

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><p>I sat innocently on the couch in my basement watching the <em>King Arthur<em> movie. More quickly than I thought possible, I had attached myself to the handsome Knight Tristan. It was nearing the end, the part with the epic battle against the Saxons, and my stomach started to clench. They were giving a little bit too much screen time to my dear Tristan. Too much screen time given to supporting characters never ended well. Never. Ended. Well. I would be very angry with these movie producers if this ended badly for my darling Tristan. Lo, and behold, that big Saxon guy (whose name I don't know, but only recall him as playing Will Turner's dad in the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movie) starts advancing towards Tristan.

"Uh-uh! They had better not be doing what I think they're gonna do!" I say aloud to my sister, who is just as traumatized as I am. Though she is worrying over where the knight played by Hugh Dancy (yeah, I don't remember names) is.

The unthinkable begins to happen. Boot-Strap-Bill guy starts hacking his sword in Tristan's direction. While Tristan does all of these sexy maneuvers to get out of the way, being all 'I'm so cool!' And I was totally there waving my 'Team Tristan' banner during the epic battle. Then I'm saying "Oh no he diii'innnt" because Tristan is on the ground without his sword, I'm there standing no longer sitting, saying "nope, this isn't gonna work. I've got to go in and change this."

Suddenly I'm in the movie talking to the evil Saxon guy, here's what I say as I lay a hand upon his shoulder: "Dude, you don't wanna kill Tristan. He means nothing to you. I mean, yeah he did kill your little guy in the tree, but did you see that shot! Do you really want to be the guy responsible for killing the guy who has the BA archery skills? The guy you really want in Arthur. He's the one causing you all these problems (not to mention keeping Lancelot and Guinevere apart). He's the one you should go kill. He wants to die anyway! I heard him say so myself! That was earlier in the movie, of course. And you weren't there, so you'll have to take my word for it." Then I smile up at the guy.

He cocks his head and grunts in a unintellible sound so deep throated that I have to lean in to hear him. "You're right. This Tristan means nothing to me. I should go kill Arthur." I didn't want to seem unhelpful so I pointed him in the correct direction with another smile. He stalks off.

Then my undivided attention is given to Tristan, who is now picking up his sword. "Hey," I say timidly, not wanting to interrupt this moment, because it does look truly epic to the eyes of the beholder (aka: me) "I just wanted to say, that you're doing an amazing job in this movie. You look great. I love the braids (you'll have to tell me how you do them), so continue to be awesome, and kick some Saxon butt. I'll be going now."

I wave to him, but before I can leave the movie, I notice Lancelot trying to save his loves life, "how sweet!" I say to myself, and then I grumble "Shoot! He's gonna die." I roll my eyes, what was wrong with these movie producers? They can't just kill of the two best characters of the movie without irking some people (aka: me). I saunter over to the Saxon who's about to kill him, it's Boot-Strap's son, great. That family has some serious issues.

"Dude, I say to the guy. You don't want to kill Lancelot. He isn't the one who's causing you so much grief! It's really Arthur who needs to die. Just like I told your dad: kill Arthur, your problems all go away with him. And I just want to say this, too. I feel for you man. I know you're mad at your dad. Obviously you guys need to start a support group. There are a lot of industries being started in this movie. I mean, Tristan's gonna start _people_ magazine and become the first _'Sexiest Man Alive'_ and he's gonna start a little thing called the NFL. Arthur's gonna start a mental hospital because he thinks that Rome is this happy go lucky place where everyone loves each other and they all share ice cream on Tuesday nights, but that's_ OBVIOUSLY_ not what's going down here. But anyhoo, I'm getting distracted. Just go help your dad kill Arthur." He went to help his dad. I went over to Lancelot to help him stand back up.

"You'll thank me for this later." I said with a sigh. I looked around and decided my work her was done. I left the movie. I will give an account of the events that went down after that:

Tristan lived. Lancelot Lived. ALL of the cool knights lived. Arthur died. The Merlinites decided that Tristan should become King, because he can talk to birds and that would prove a very useful skill to have in the future. All the Saxons ended up being exterminated when Davy Jones came back to put them in his Locker (never knows when he might need a good Saxon for gym class). Lancelot and Guinevere get married. They live out a beautiful relationship together, and have blue babies-so starts the race of the Navies on the planet Pandora. Merlin becomes Tristan's right hand guy because Tristan really is a Merlinite, TOO! (Like, I don't even know how Arthur didn't realize that when he saw the tattoos on Tristan's face.) And so the movie ends and no one really misses Arthur because he was the one that made them go into battle, and anyway-he did want to die in the first place.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry that this was so crazy (and most likely a waste of your time), and I know it's very poorly written, But the end of the movie made me really mad, so I decided to change it. And if you think this account was crazy, you should have been there to hear my sister and I's commentary of the entire movie...it was really weird, lol! ~Quirk<strong>


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